As I was looking through the photos from our wedding, picking out my favourites for this blog post, I turned and asked my husband, “do you ever regret getting married the way we did?”. The answer? A resounding ‘no’.
We didn’t have a big wedding. There were only 10 people there apart from us. Most of our friends and family had no idea we were getting married that day.
The main reason behind this? We didn’t want a fuss. We’re both quite shy people and didn’t want all that attention on us.
All we wanted was to be married. I wanted to be able to call him my husband instead of my boyfriend.
There’s a quote from Friends that has always stuck with me. When Monica and Chandler are discussing their wedding budget (or lack thereof) and Monica says “I don’t want a big fancy wedding …. I want a marriage”.
That is exactly how we felt. The wedding day was important, of course, but the really important part was what would come after that one day. We didn’t want to spend a fortune or make a big fuss for just that – one day.
So, 8 years ago, on a gloriously sunny November day we headed to county hall in Swansea, said our vows in front of our immediate family and 2 friends and then headed over to the beach to toast with some champagne as the sun set and the tide came in.
We couldn’t have asked for more.
Yes, I’m wearing flip flops in my wedding photos – they wrote the words ‘Just married’ in the sand when I walked! Don’t worry though, I wore ‘proper’ shoes for the actual wedding!
The thing that always makes me laugh a bit though, is that I love going to other people’s weddings. I love all the gorgeous table settings, the handmade favours, the heartfelt speeches, the romantic first dance. I love all of it. Well, I suppose I love being an observer of all of that. I love seeing people in love.
But that kind of wedding just wasn’t for us.
Instead we had our wonderful, low-key day. And then a few days later, at a going-away party for my new brother-in-law who was off travelling, we shared our news with our family and friends. And most people seemed to have the same reaction – they were surprised, but not surprised at the same time I think. Anyone who knows us would’ve been more surprised if we’d had a full-on all-eyes-on-us wedding!
So, to anyone in the process of planning a wedding, here are my thoughts to you.
Think about why you’re doing this. Think about what is really important to you, and plan the wedding that YOU want. Don’t have a church wedding just because your mum thinks you should. Don’t invite all your long-lost relatives just because your Dad says they’ll be upset if you don’t.
This may sound uncaring, but your wedding day is just that, YOUR wedding day. It isn’t about anyone else. It’s about you marrying the person you love. Simple as that.
So do what feels right in your heart.
If you want to go all out and have a huge celebration – go for it!
If you want to sneak away and do it secret – do it!
I’m so happy that we had the wedding we wanted. 8 years later and I still wouldn’t change a thing about it!
I’d love to hear people’s thoughts on this. Did you have a huge wedding or a tiny one? Do you wish you’d done anything differently? Leave me a comment and let me know!
