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One of the things that I really aim for in my photography is for the focus to be spot on.

For the image to be lovely and sharp, right where I want it to be lovely and sharp.

But every now and then I take a photo and it’s soft, and dreamy, and the light is just right.

And I fall in love with it.

This is one of those photos.

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth”

Rhys has chatted to me quite a lot over the last few months about what he’d like to do when he’s older.

A while ago he decided he’d like to be a car mechanic which I thought was pretty good. I mean, he’s always been good with puzzles and he likes putting things together so I think he’d make a good mechanic!

But last week he seemed to have changed his mind.

He told me he wasn’t going to marry anyone (who he’ll marry has also been a big topic of discussion!) and that he’s going to be a helper tidy-upper.

No idea where that came from but if it means he’ll help me tidy up round the house more to get some practice in then that’s brilliant!

It’s all got me thinking though, about my hopes and dreams for him for the future.

And honestly, I just want him to find something that he loves to do. Something that lights him up and makes him come alive.

So this week, I’m sharing this quote for my children:

It’s taken me a long time to explore my interests and my passions, but I think I’ve found the things that make me come alive in my writing and my photography.

I hope my children take their time too, to find what it is that lights them up.

But I hope they get there a little faster than I did!

A few weeks back I wrote about the new parent coaching cards that Barefoot coaching have created, and how great they are for getting us parents thinking and talking about various aspects of having children.

And a video that popped up on my Facebook feed the other day made me think about one of the questions in the pack:

“What kind of relationship would you like to have with your baby when he/she is grown up?”

The video that I saw was by Kristina Kuzmic, and is about the fact that, at that moment in time, all three of her kids were mad at her.  And how that’s a really good thing, because it means she’s doing her job as a parent.

And I found it really interesting, as well as funny.  Because I think our instinct is to want our children to like us!  No one wants to make their children upset or angry.  But the point is, sometimes we have to do just that to be a good parent.

Sometimes we have to say no to things that we know aren’t good for them.

I’m at quite a nice stage at the moment where I do still feel like my children are my friends.  I mean, Rhys has told me several times that I’ve made him mad, but for the most part we have fun, we play, we hang out, and we’re friends.

And Nerys is still very much my little buddy.

In a few years though, I know another kind of parenting will have to kick in.

And at that stage our relationship is bound to change a bit.

My hope though, is that after the difficult teenage years, after all of that, we can be friends.

I really do hope that when my children are grown up we’ll still want to hang out together.

I hope we have the kind of relationship where they can tell me things, openly and honestly.

I remember when I was in my first year at Uni and was telling my Mum on the phone about going out for a night out and getting really quite drunk, and she laughed asking ‘are you sure you should be telling me this?!”.

And the honest answer was yes, I should be telling you this!  I felt at 18 that my relationship with my Mum was good enough and close enough that I could tell her about my drunken nights out!

I hope that my two feel that way about me when they’re older.

I hope they’ll want to come and hang out at home with me and Steve.

I hope we can go out together, shopping, eating, drinking.  Is it bad that I like the idea of sharing a bottle of wine with my children?!

I just know that some of my fondest memories with my parents since I’ve grown up are of nights sitting round a table, drinking wine, chatting and laughing.

I want that with my own children.

I suppose that’s what we all want isn’t it, to have a relationship with our children once they’re grown up that’s relaxed, and easy, and fun?

Now this is interesting.  

I’ve always loved photos, and I know it’s always made me happy to sit and look back through piles of old pictures.

But now research has been carried out that’s shown that taking and sharing three different types of photos really can lead to increased happiness and emotional well-being.

I love this idea that maybe a photo a day can keep the blues away!

The study involved asking a group of college students to take three types of photos; selfies, photos of things that made them happy and photos of things that made other people happy.

The researchers then looked to see what effect the different kind of photos had on the students.

All three types of photo led to the students feeling happier, but in slightly different ways.

Selfies.

I have to say, I’m not really a massive selfie-taker at the moment.

As a student I used to take them with my friends a lot but it’s not something I do that often these days.  But I know they are hugely popular, with some people taking multiple selfies every day.

And it turns out they could be onto a winner actually, because the study found that taking selfies was linked to the students feeling more confident and comfortable.

I wonder if this is partly due to the fact that we tend to make more of an effort to look our best if we know we’re going to be in photos?

I’m not sure, but I think this might be worth investigating, so I’m planning on getting out my selfie stick and spending a week pouting and posing to see if it does anything for my confidence!

Things that make us happy.

This makes sense to me.

The researchers found that taking photos of things that make us happy is linked to feeling more appreciative and to being in a more reflective state of mind.

When we’re more mindful of the world around us, and stop to take the time to photograph the things that make us smile then we do tend to feel more grateful for those little things.

There are all sorts of things you could photograph along this theme, like your morning cup of coffee, the gorgeous flowers in the park, your favourite shoes that make you feel great, or the people in your life that bring a smile to your face!

Things that make other people happy.

Now this one I find interesting.

The study found that when the students took and shared photos of things that would make other people happy then they  in turn felt calmer and less stressed.  This type of photo sharing also helped to strengthen social ties between the friends.

It does make sense really, lots of studies have found that thinking of others and carrying out acts of kindness make us happier.  So it would follow that stopping to think of what other people would like to see a photo of will make us happy too.

It’s like the joy you feel watching someone open a present you spent ages picking out for them!

So next time you walk past a funny coffee shop sign that you know would make your friend laugh, or see a mug in a shop with a great quote on it that they would love, snap a photo of it and share it with them.

It’ll make both of you feel happier!

So there you have it, three types of photo that will make you feel a bit happier every day.  

And with camera phones so much better these days there’s no excuse not to get snapping!

I’d love to know, what types of photos do you take most?  Are you a selfie expert or are you happy behind the camera taking photos of the things and people you love?

I went out to the cinema the other night to see Bad Moms with some of my friends (loved it by the way, highly recommend it!), and there was a scene where one of the mums goes with her daughter to a spa.

They have mud baths and facials and sit in a sauna together, and it looked amazing.

And my friend who was sat next to me nudged me and said, it’s only you and me that will have that, because we were the only ones out of the 5 of us that went to see it that have got daughters.

And I am really looking forward to doing that sort of thing with Nerys when she’s older.  She can be such a rough and tumble tomboy at times but definitely has a girly side, begging me to take her to look round the clothes and shoes when we go to Tesco together!

So I think it’ll be so nice when she’s a bit older to go for girls days out, to visit a little spa, or just to wander round town looking at clothes and accessories together.

For now though, I do most of my shopping online.  It’s just so convenient to pop on the computer or the ipad to browse the shops when I need something.

I’m a bit of a bargain hunter too, so I really love shopping online where you can compare prices easily, rather than having to walk from shop to shop to find the best deal!

I’ll often pop on ebay to see what’s about, or gumtree to see what local people have for sale.  I’ve just been introduced to secondwow.co.uk which is a site that pulls items from various second hand sites into one place for you, which is really useful.  You can browse various categories to see if anything catches your eye, or if you’re looking for something in particular you can do a search to see what people are selling that might suit you.

We’re in search of a new computer desk at the moment so I’m off to see if anyone local has one they want to pass on before I head out to the BHF shop in town to see if they’ve got any there!

Do you like to shop around and see what second hand bargains you can pick up?  Or do you just go straight to the shops for something brand new?

Disclosure- – this is a collaborative post.