One of the things I’ve realised in the 5 years that I’ve been a parent is how important it is to talk, openly and honestly, about how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking and how things are going.
So many things change when you become a parent, and it can be really hard to adjust. Especially as a new mum. Your hormones are all over the place, you’re not getting much sleep and it can feel like your whole world has been turned upside down.
I know when I first had Rhys I was all over the place. I was really happy to be a mum, but I was also sore, tired, overwhelmed, and honestly a bit shell-shocked.
It can be really easy to just bottle up these feelings.
We tell ourselves that we should just be happy, and that we should be coping. It can be really hard to admit that you’re feeling anything other than happiness.
But, honestly, the best thing to do is to let our feelings out.
Either by talking to someone we feel comfortable with, or by writing down how we’re feeling in a diary, or even a blog. I absolutely love all the parentings blogs out there now, where women are starting to talk with complete honesty about how they feel about being a mum.
Sometimes though it can be hard to know how to start talking about these things, and that’s where these brilliant new coaching cards come in.
What are these coaching cards?
The coaching cards for new parents from Barefoot coaching are a set of 50 cards, each with a question on that will help parents start meaningful conversations. These conversations can then help us to get to know ourselves and our loved ones better and improve our relationships.
They’re designed so that you can dip into the pack whenever you have a quiet few minutes to sit down and chat, which is perfect for new parents who don’t have a whole lot of time to spare!
To celebrate the launch of these new cards, Barefoot coaching are having a blog tour where a few of us bloggers are writing about our experiences with the cards and thinking about some of the questions from the pack.
So I’ve had a good look through all the cards and chosen this question that really stood out to me, as it’s something Steve and I have talked about a few times over the last few years.
How would you describe your experience of being parented? Is there anything you would like to emulate/do differently?
I absolutely love this question.
I think it’s really important to look back at my own childhood and remember what made me happy and what things my parents did that I appreciated, so that I can apply those things to my own parenting.
I would describe my experience of being parented as balanced.
By which I mean I think my parents found a great balance of being there for me, helping me out when I needed it and being completely supportive while also knowing when to step back and let me make my own way in the world.
This kind of balance is what I really hope to achieve as a parent.
I try my hardest to make sure my children have total faith that I’ll always come when they need me, and will always keep my word to them. I hope that by giving them that strong foundation of support and love they’ll be better able to step out on their own as they get older.
My mum has always told me that your children are only lent to you.
And I honestly do believe the best thing my parents did for me was to let me go (as much as you ever actually let your children go!).
They fully supported my decision to move miles and miles away from home to go to University, and since then have always been there for me when I need help or advice but have also let me reach my own decisions without interferring.
I really hope that as Rhys and Nerys grow up I can do the same.
They are their own people, with their own lives to lead, and I honestly want them to make their own choices and find out for themselves what the best course of action is for them.
All with that safety net that if it all goes to pot they can always come home.
Writing this has made me aware of how lucky I am, because I really can’t think of anything that I would go out of my way to do differently. I’m sure if I went back and talked to my teenage self I’d have something different to say, but looking back, now that I’m a parent myself, I think my parents did a great job and for that I’m eternally grateful.
If you’d like to get some coaching cards for yourself, or even as a gift for some new parents in your life, then you can get them directly from the Barefoot coaching company.
Make sure you don’t miss the next stop on the #YouGotThis blog tour. You can read Helen’s post over at Beautiful Things on Tuesday 6th September.
Here’s the full schedule for the blog tour if you want to check out all the posts.
I received a pack of coaching cards in exchange for taking part in the blog tour, but all words and opinions are my own.