I seem to have started a bit of a tradition that I really love.
Around this time last year, and the year before, I took photos of Nerys having her hair dried after a bath for my Living Arrows posts.
I happened to read last year’s post the other day and at the end of the post I wrote:
“If I remember I’ll try and take some more photos then!”
So when Steve was drying her hair after a bath that evening I grabbed the camera and took these photos.
I just can’t get over how much her hair has grown in the last year, and how much older she looks!
What I really love though is that I mentioned in last year’s post that she was busy singing ‘let it go’ at the top of her lungs while her hair was being dried.
This year, the facial expressions are thanks to ‘this is me’ from The Greatest Showman. I wonder if we’ll still be doing this next January, and if so what the song of choice will be!
If you’re wondering how much she has changed and grown, here are the photos from 2017 and 2018:
For so long Nerys didn’t have much hair at all, it does make me smile now seeing quite how long it is. I’m really not sure how I’ll feel if and when she decides she wants to cut it all off.
Who knows, maybe next January I’ll be sharing photos of her having her hair blow dried into a neat little bob!
This is the third year now that I’m taking part in the siblings project, and I still absolutely love it as a way to make sure I get a few photos of the children together each month.
Our photos for January were taken on a cold winter walk on the beach.
We’d been in a bit of a Christmas bubble and a blast of fresh sea air was the perfect way to blow away the cobwebs.
The tide was only just on its way out when we got there and there was so much left behind on the tideline, it was really interesting to search through it as we walked.
We found all sorts of driftwood, shells, and mermaids purses. And then plenty of stones to throw in the sea and try to skim.
Quite often when we go to the beach in the winter months it’s quite quiet, but it was actually pretty busy that day.
I think everyone was out doing the same as us, sort of emerging back into the real world after a few days of Christmas hibernation.
I did actually get another photo of Rhys and Nerys together this month, which I really want to share as well.
It was taken on a walk through campus after swimming last weekend, where we found a really lovely little garden area perfect for a little sit down. I just really love the two of them together with their matching furry hoods up!
Here’s to another year of seaside walks and siblings photos.
Kids are carefree. They play like there’s no tomorrow. They don’t care if people judge them because they don’t even know what judgement is.
They are content to be in their own little world without stress, releasing them from the chains of inferiority or feeling like they’re not good enough.
When kids get up every morning, they put on their hand-me-down clothes, last season’s coat, and mismatched shoes, and storm out the door without looking back. They don’t know that stripes don’t match polka dots or that you don’t wear your socks on the outside of your pants.
But here’s the truth: they’re right. None of that matters if you feel good on the inside.
Kids do what makes them feel good, and that’s why they’re so cute. They are compassionate and fun-loving. They don’t make a fuss about navigating social situations with grace or tact.
While we spend every hour worrying about being a great parent or what others think of us, we should be thinking about being kind and doing what makes others feel good. We know we should have eaten fruit instead of cookies, but we need to forget about the weight loss.
Forget about fashion, forget about diet, and forget what your co-worker said about you when she was frustrated for a second. Think about why your kids love you. It’s not because you have cool shoes or the most gorgeous hair or the thinnest body.
Chances are, that’s not why anyone loves you. And if it is, they shouldn’t be your friend. These are things we learned in primary school, but they often don’t sink in, even as adults. We know better.
So try spending more time treating others with kindness. That includes yourself. Wake up in the morning and be grateful for all the little things that make your life so amazing. And let the other little things go. So what if you wear your socks on the outside of your trousers for a day?
Love yourself and then love others.
Be confident in the skin you’re in. Bonds will take care of the comfort on the outside if you focus on a healthier mind and spirit.
Life is full of glorious imperfections, but we’re all in this together.
Be as carefree as your kids and cherish the love in the world.
We survived the first week back at school after the complete break from normality that was the Christmas holidays.
There may have been a bit of complaining in the mornings about having to get up and go to school, but for the most part the children settled back into the routine really well.
They did seem tired though by the end of the week, so on Saturday we had a quiet day at home. Well, Rhys and Nerys had a quiet, peaceful day, while Steve and I went on a bit of a clear-out mission in their bedroom.
We’ve got a huge pile of things ready to be passed on to friends or the charity shop and their room feels so much better, with room to actually move and play.
On Sunday we were back at swimming lessons, then took the scenic route home through Singleton park and the uni campus. We wandered round a little garden area on campus that, despite going to the uni and living in Swansea for 18 years, I had never been to before.
It was a really lovely little spot to stop and take some photos for this week’s post.
I think we walked for a good hour and half, including a stop at the shop for bread, before we made it back home. And apart from a few whinges now and then about just wanting to be home already the children did really well!
Especially considering they’d both put a lot of energy into their swimming lessons before the walk.
Nerys only started lessons in September and she moved up 2 groups yesterday which she was so excited about. She has been so bold and brave with her swimming, and so determined to do well with it.
It took Rhys quite a bit longer to get to grips with it all when he started, mainly because he was so full of energy he couldn’t seem to stay still long enough to listen and learn.
He is doing so well with it now though, and looks so comfortable in the water. I’m not sure at what point we’ll stop his lessons; I suppose when he tells us that he’s not enjoying them any more.
Would you stop swimming lessons once your child is able to swim, or keep going with them to keep working on technique and improving their skills?
As ancestry websites, DNA websites and long lost family TV shows become ever more popular, more and more people want to know where they have come from and if there’s more family out there, then they want to find them. It could be due to distance, time, or just growing apart, but every family has long lost relatives – and today more and more people wish to reconnect with them. It’s not even just about family; it could be people looking for their first love or their best friend from school. The fact is that anything seems possible these days and if there’s someone on your mind you want to find then you may as well go for it.
Technology and social media has made finding people so much easier and more accessible, but really how easy is it and is it possible to find someone online? Take a look at these steps if this is something you’re interested in and have started looking into as it’s definitely possible to make a start on your own and online if not find the person and do the whole thing all by yourself.
Create A List
Begin by creating a list of all the essential information that you know about the person you are trying to track down. Don’t skip this step as it’s very important and if you go straight into searching then you could likely miss something. Like anything, it’s vital to prepare, as the saying goes, ‘fail to prepare, prepare to fail’ and it is very true in this scenario. By not writing down all the information you need, not only might you miss something but it could completely derail you, put you off, mislead you completely and end in not finding them at all. You’ll need to include more than just their first and last name too. Write down information such as where they went to high school if you have any previous phone numbers and addresses and vehicles they might have owned, whatever you can think of to build a bigger picture. This kind of information can be really beneficial to your search later down the line. Also, make sure that all this information is correct, there is no point going down one route on some false information as it will waste your time and could put you off the search.
Use Search Engines
Search engines really are an excellent way to find the information you’re searching for quickly. However, don’t just rely on one. They are all different and will give you different results. Each search engine uses a separate database and search algorithm, and this will affect what information is returned. You should never rely on just one search engine – private investigators search multiple search engines to find information and obtain the best results.
Try Google, Bing, Yahoo, AOL, Duck Duck Go. Also, Metasearch engines are an excellent way to search multiple search engines at the same time. Instead of using crawlers to index the web like Google and others do, they send queries to a variety of search engines, combine the results. Here are a few examples of meta search engines that best for finding people: Dogpile, WebCrawler and Monster Crawler. If you’re not comfortable with the technology and these terms, then get someone to help you. Even if you go and use one of the computers at your local library, a librarian will likely be on hand to assist can help you find these particular search engines or websites.
Advanced Search Techniques
There are also advanced search operators which use things like Boolean logic to help you filter out the junk that isn’t related to your search. They allow you to combine words and connectors to exclude specific results, for example, if you search for “John Smith” then search engines will return results with all web data with the words ‘John’ and ‘Smith.’ It is highly unlikely that this will be what you want, so, by using ”Not” or “–“ before a term, your search will exclude web pages that contain those terms. For example, a typical search would look something like this:
“John Smith” and New Zealand or + John + Smith + New Zealand.
Have a look at Google’s extensive list of operators and other tips and tricks which will help make your searches more powerful on their advanced search page. Other search engines will have their own specific operators too, so be sure to look them up before you start using them.
Use Social Media
Lots of people have found people who they have been searching for on social media networks since they became so popular. They are the perfect place to start looking for someone online – especially family members that have fallen out of touch. Starting with Facebook, this is the most significant and most extensive search engine by far. You can search for people using names, locations, and even groups. Then there is Linkedin, another great place to look for people, especially if you know the person’s employment history or where they might currently be living. There are other websites dedicated to searching for people such as People finder UK, so it’s worth having a look on there too.
Search Genealogy Sites and Resources
These have become increasingly popular over recent years and with that are getting smarter and have more information and data each day. By doing a little bit of research into your genealogy, you might discover family members you had no idea existed which means that this research can often point you in the right direction if you’re stuck elsewhere. Take a look at Access Genealogy, which includes old letters, Native American historical records, and military documents; The Olive Tree which is a private researcher’s collection of links and other resources that are incredibly useful and in-depth; Family Tree Searcher – The Family Tree Searcher is yet another website that was created by a private researcher to educate and assist amateurs. The interactive quizzes that ensure your search is customized for your particular search are a tremendous help; Genealogy Today is a website has an impressive searchable collection of traditional and unorthodox historical records; Cyndi’s List has 332,340 genealogy links that you can access; RootsWeb is part of the Ancestry.com family, RootsWeb is a massive, community maintained database of US genealogy records searchable by first and last name, created by thousands of genealogists; and US GenWeb Project is the U.S. Genealogy Researchers website was created by a collection of history and genealogy enthusiasts to share resources and educate the public about genealogy and ancestry research.
Finally, You Could Hire a Private Investigator
If you have the money and the resource, then go for it. This is what Private Investigators do for a living. If you give an investigator all the information you have, they can conduct the entire search for you. With access to information that you won’t be able to access as a civilian such as vehicle registrations, private investigators are incredibly skilled at uncovering information and can do it quickly and efficiently.
Prepare Yourself
Whether someone has gone missing or you’re looking for someone you’ve never even met before, it can be tough. You need to prepare yourself for the fact that you may not find them, there could be great leads which draw dead ends, or sometimes people just do not want to be found. Looking for someone is a big deal and something you should consider carefully before getting into.
Take It Slowly
If you do find the person you are looking for, then it is best to take things slowly. Don’t make your first connection a rushed story about what may have been a scandal at the time it occurred. Be friendly, take your time, offer them your contact information, and let them know you would like to keep in touch.
Don’t Get Your Hopes Up
Don’t get your hopes too high about how the meeting will go, be prepared for things to go differently than you expected as it is possible that the long lost relative will not want to get to know you at all and that can hurt, especially in situations involving adoption and biological parents. They might come round, do remember that it’s likely you’re dropping a bombshell on them and they won’t be prepared. You have had time to accept the news and prepare, so allow them to have that too.
There is also the possibility that the discovery of a long lost relative could result in drama. Other relatives may become emotional, and they might refuse to accept the new person as part of their family tree. Or, they may welcome that person with open arms. Every family has its own internal structure, and a new person could shake things up.
Just be aware of all the possibilities and eventualities and take the time to prepare yourself for whatever may occur, but fingers crossed it will be a positive experience for everyone.
As I watch my children start to find their feet at school one thing that I’m finding I’m paying quite a bit of attention to is the friendships they’re forming.
They both have little friendship groups which for the most part is brilliant, but I do worry a bit to be honest about how they’ll cope with the inevitable arguments and falling outs that will come at some point.
I want my children to learn how to be good friends, and in turn spend time with people who are good friends to them. It doesn’t stop in childhood though, there are things we can do throughout our lives to be better friends.
1. Remember it’s a 2-way street
A great friendship needs both friends to give and take equally. If one person is always the one giving, always the one reaching out and making the effort, then the balance is all wrong. To be a great friend you need to give as much as you take.
Be the one to suggest getting together one weekend, text them randomly with something that will make them smile.
The other side of this though is that you have to be able to take as much as you give too, so accept your friend’s offers of help when you need it, take their advice on board when they give it and welcome love and compliments that they give you.
2. Don’t keep score
Following on from the first point, while you try to keep a balance in the friendship you should also try not to keep score too much.
Don’t keep a running record of how many times you initiate getting together vs how many times your friend does. There might be a number of reasons why she’s not as organised or proactive as you in arranging getting together.
If they’re a good friend in other ways and support you and are there for you, then don’t keep score over the other things.
3. Reminisce over past memories, then make some new ones together
Let them know you’re thinking of them by texting them private jokes, or quotes from TV programs you loved to watch together. Post old photos of the two of you together on Facebook and write a caption about the day it was taken. Remind them of the friendship rings you bought each other that mean so much to you.
The key though is to not let your friendship live completely in the past.
Make plans to do something new and fun together, to keep making new memories. Maybe start taking a class together, if there’s something you’ve both always wanted to learn to do. Or if you have the time and money available, think about booking a weekend break in a new city and go exploring together.
4. Cheer them on
Be there as much as you can to support your friend, to encourage them and let them know how much you believe in them and their dreams
The author of ‘The art of friendship’, Sally Horchow, has said “being generous in spirit is said to stimulate the same part of your brain as simple pleasure. So, put yourself aside and try simply cheering them on”.
If your friend is trying something new, or working towards a goal, it can sometimes be a bit unnerving and we might worry about things shifting in the friendship. But it’s really important to not let those feelings stop you from being supporting and encouraging.
5. Be you
Let your guard down and be as open as you can with your friends.
Let them really get to know the real you. Sally Horchow wrote, “It’s better to be open, realistic and expressive with your friends, in good times and bad. This will reinforce your bond”.
While it can be really scary to open up and let your friends get to know the real you, flaws and all, it’s the only way you can properly get close to people.
These are all things I’ll be talking to my children about as they get older and hopefully it’ll help them to be great friends and to form close relationships with people who’ll be amazing friends to them too.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that most children love to dress up. All you need to do is look at the popularity of holidays, such as Halloween, to see this. It’s not just special occasions though, you can see it throughout the year, whether it be dressing up in parent’s clothes or rummaging through a fancy dress box – there are hours of fun to be had with dressing up.
If your child is keen on having a fancy dress party, the possibilities are endless – you will never run out of ideas. From wearing an animal costume, to a princess, to impersonating a celebrity, to even posing as your most favoured game player, such as Mario and Luigi fancy dress. With that in mind, here are a few suggestions and advice that will help guide you through the planning process to host an awesome fancy dress party.
Things to consider:
Pick a theme
Whatever the occasion, first thing first, you’ll want to choose what the theme will be. With an endless number of possibilities, whatever your child decides will be highly entertaining for all involved.
A popular option is to ask everyone to dress up in something beginning with the same letter as your child’s name. For example, if your child’s name begins with “B”, party-goers could dress up as Belle (the princess), a bee, Batman or a baby. But, the key is to think outside the box, to ensure you don’t end up dressed up as someone else!
Alternatively, if your child is younger, they may want more of a specific theme. For instance, they may insist everyone dresses up as a princess, or pirates. Perhaps even something comic-book related that appeals to both girls and boys, where they can don outfits such as Spiderman, Ironman or Wonder Woman fancy dress.
Although, before just buying a costume for your child, it is important to do your research. A couple of years ago, MPs called for children’s fancy dress costumes to face tougher fire safety regulations, after TV presenter Claudia Winkleman’s daughter suffered serious burns from her Halloween outfit.
Preparation
Like any party, a fancy dress party for your child will need a bit of preparation in advance. Usually a month is more than enough time, but if you are considering booking a venue, it is worth enquiring a few months before you plan to host the party.
Once you’ve picked a theme, you will need to begin the party prep. This is the most fun part, as you can really let your creative juices flow. It is important to send out invitations as soon as possible to ensure people are free and have enough time to create or buy their costumes – three weeks is reasonable.
As far as food is concerned, there are many things you can do to extend the theme even further and impress. Consider decorating the cake and other food items by embellishing them in edible designs, such as eye-patches or treasure for a pirate party, or floral and glitter designs for a garden fairy party.
Decorate
Once you’ve determined this, the next task is to start preparing the decor, by designing party bags and making decorations. Decorations of course can be made to suit the theme and, with enough prep time, you can really make something special that the kids will remember.
Using cardboard, paint, a computer and a printer, you can make all sorts of fantastic things, and it’s a great way to involve the kids and spend some quality time with them. If you’re not the most creative of people, there are many online resources that you can refer to for more personal, homemade decorations that will not only look fantastic, but won’t break the bank either.
With this tips you can give your child a really awesome dressing up party, so take plenty of photos so you can all remember it for years to come!
