The family lifestyle blog with a side of psychology
So, to celebrate this special day, I give you this fab quote about the difference changing our thinking can make to the way we see the world.
What I’m slowly learning (I’m stubborn, it takes me a long time to accept some things!) is that, for the things that matter most to us, we’ll never truly be ready. Our work will never be perfect enough to put out into the world, where we fear it will be judged. But we have to take action anyway.
Even if we don’t feel ready.
Even if it’s not perfect.
The important thing is to just put something out there. And if it doesn’t quite work, or if it fails spectacularly, then you learn and you make changes and you try again.
Alex Beadon said it perfectly in a blog post I read awhile ago. Try, fail, tweak, try, fail, tweak. So simple.
I’m really trying to keep this in mind when I find myself over-thinking things in my business. I want my work to be perfect. I want my website to be perfect. I want it all to be perfect. And so sometimes, rather than put something out there that doesn’t feel quite perfect, I do nothing. Which is the worst possible thing I can do!
So I keep telling myself, just put something out there. Give it a try. Be willing to fail. Then just tweak away. Simple.
I did something this weekend that I’m really quite proud of. I drove to somewhere new for the first time, on the other side of town. Now, I realise this probably isn’t a big deal for most of you!
But for me, this was huge. I’ve spent the last 10ish years being ridiculously scared of driving. Not to the point of it being a phobia, but to the point of much preferring to walk places, or get a lift, or catch the bus/train instead of having to drive anywhere.
A while ago I googled ‘getting over a fear of driving’, and found that most of the advice was in equal parts both simple and frustrating.
The answer most people came up with is to simply go out and drive.
It seems the only way to get over a fear of driving is to just do it. To get in the car and just start driving. It’s only with the practice and experience that the fear will start to fade away. All well and good, but it’s so damn hard to simply get in the car and drive when you’re terrified!
In the end I was forced to start facing my fear when Rhys started nursery school last year. His school is about a 30 minute walk away, which just wouldn’t have been any fun to do every day, with his baby sister in tow! So I had to take a deep breath and get in the car.
And after a few weeks it did get easier. I started to relax.
But when it came to my epic (haha!) 20 minute drive this weekend, I was still really nervous beforehand. I studied the route on google maps so I knew the way and knew what landmarks to look out for, knocked back some rescue remedy, then I went for it.
And you know what? Within minutes of getting in the car I was fine. So of course then I started to panic about the fact that I wasn’t panicking! Then I relaxed into it, and got there and back without incident. And man alive I felt proud of myself!
I am strangely annoyed though, that all those people on google were right. Because I still want there to be an easier answer! But it does seem to be true that the only way to start fighting a fear of driving is to drive. The only way to deal with any fear is to do the thing you’re scared of.
Is anyone else out there scared of driving? Or do you absolutely love it?!
I wrote yesterday about how the seemingly ‘nothing’ days often end up being the best days, and I really do believe that to be true. I mean, obviously the BIG days are amazing, the fun trips out with the kids, the excitement of going somewhere new.
But I think, when I look back on these days, remembering when my children were small, I think it’s more likely to be these ‘nothing’ days that I will think of most fondly.
Those little moments with my family, cwtched up on the sofa watching a disney film, seeing Nerys copy the signing on Something Special, marvelling at Rhys’ growing creativity as he makes figures with his play dough.
Those little things really are the big things. They’re what life is really all about.
Finding ourselves in quite urgent need of work, we both headed to the temp agencies in town and signed up. The first job that came up was a temp job with Lloyds bank. They were taking on a ton of young people to process all the applications for student bank accounts that were coming in over the summer, and we were among the lucky ones selected to be part of the fun!
The job actually wasn’t that bad, and we met a great group of people that really helped ease us into life outside of University. And among that group of people, who I met on my very first day in that job, was my future husband.
It took about 3 months, my break-up with my uni boyfriend (his doing, not mine, and by text by the way, very classy!) and talk of me and Jo moving to London for Steve and I to start going out. A few months after that we were living together.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
I really do believe that things happen for a reason, and that people come into our lives at the right moment. It never crossed my mind when I walked into that temp job 12 years ago that I would meet my future husband that day. That the man I would have children with, and spend my life with, would be in that room. That my whole life would never be the same.
But I tell you what, I’m damn glad I took that job!
I was chatting with a friend a while ago and we ended up talking about how we felt when we turned 30. She told me she had the almost stereotypical response to it. Not quite Joey from Friends panic levels about it (Why God, why?!?!), but she wasn’t very happy about it.
I, on the other hand, was quite happy to turn 30. It just didn’t feel like a big deal. Maybe because I felt happy with where my life was at that stage. I mean, of course there were pieces of the life puzzle that weren’t quite in place yet (ha, there are still pieces missing now), but the main elements were there. I was happily married, with a much longed for baby.
And now, 3 years on, I have a wonderful baby girl as well and I feel like I’m slowly getting my act together in other parts of my life. So I feel happy to be where I am in my life at this age!
I have also learnt over the years that there are some things in this life that you just cannot prevent or change. You can’t stop the rain from falling. You can’t change another person if they don’t want to change. And you can’t stop time from passing.
Simple fact is, you will get older. You can’t change that, so why not embrace it. In fact, be thankful for it.
So on Thursday I will celebrate another year lived. Most likely there will be cake, and I’ll eat the lot. No regrets here!
My in-laws have been away and therefore I’ve had no child-free time for the past week.
So, in short, not a lot has been done.
Well, we’ve been to the park, we’ve baked, we’ve played. We’ve been busy. But there’s not been a lot of time for much housework to be done. So today I’m taking comfort in this quote from Sarah Millican.
