Every year around the time of my birthday I think of a particular quote:
“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many”
I just love this reminder that getting older isn’t something to be scared or upset about. It’s something to be celebrated and to be so grateful for. The thing is, we’re not the only ones getting older, our parents are too. And that can actually be quite a scary thought, knowing how dynamics might shift and our parents’ needs might change.
As time goes on and things do start to change, there are several things we can do to help our parents.
Be empathetic
Psychotherapist Christina Steinorth wrote that “Aging is a series of losses — loss of employment, health and energy, friends, mobility, and independence.”
This is something we really need to keep in mind when dealing with our parents as they get older. It can be really hard to manage some days when they seem frustrated or angry or especially needy, but we need to put ourselves in their shoes. We need to stop and think about how we would feel if we were them, and react appropriately.
Give them a call
One of the simplest things you can do for your parents is to phone them. This might also be the most important thing you can do too.
Steinorth’s research found that getting a phone call from their children was the number one thing ageing parents wanted.
So make a point of giving them a call, at least once a week, just to check in and chat.
Get them out and about
It can be easy for people to feel quite isolated as they get older, especially if they have mobility issues and find it hard to get out of the house.
Making time to take your parents on trips out can help them feel involved in your life and in the outside world in general. If their mobility really is an issue then take a look at these powered wheelchairs, they could be a great investment and support your parent in getting out and about.
Help them find activities
If you’re not in a position to be able to visit in person that often then take the time to find resources for them in their local community.
Have a look and see if there’s a community centre that they could go along to each week. Or maybe there are clubs or societies that they could join. If they’re still quite active then see if you can find a suitable exercise or yoga class for them to go to.
Any of these things will help to keep them active and help to make and maintain all-important social connections.
Help them sort out their home
When you visit them at home have a little check around and see if there’s anything that then need mending or replacing, with safety being a top priority.
You might also want to gently guide them to start decluttering.
I have mixed feelings about Swedish death cleaning, but I do appreciate the idea behind it that it’s better to sort through our belongings as we age, rather than leaving it to our families to do once we’re gone. I don’t think we should push our parents to declutter their home, but if they’re open to the idea it might be worth helping them start to sort through things they might not need any more.
I’m hoping that I’m still many years from needing to follow this advice but at whatever point in the future my parents start to need me and my siblings in a different way I’d like to think that we’ll be well-equipped between us to give them the care they need.
Disclaimer: this is a collaborative post