Like most parents out there, I take a lot of photos.
I want to capture my children as they grow up. But the more I think about it, the more I realise that I want more than that, I want to capture their lives for them as they grow up.
The thing is, I get caught up in the perfection of the photos I see other people sharing on social media. The photos of families in beautifully clean homes with crisp white walls and clutter-free counter tops.
Even though I know a lot of the time those pictures are edited, or have been taken in the one clear corner of the house while all the clutter has been pushed to the side, out of the frame, I still fall for it. And a big part of me wants that for myself. There’s no denying that those kind of photos look good. They are really attractive photos, and I suppose they show a rather attractive lifestyle.
But do they show real life? When the children in those photos look back at them when they’re older, will they make the memories of their childhoods come flooding back?
I suppose my real question is this: are we editing the life out of our photos?
A lot of the photos that I share, on this blog and over on my Instagram account, are these kind of ‘clean’ images of my family and of my life.
My children’s faces often fill the frame, and I often intentionally keep the background as clear as possible. These pictures from a trip to the beach are prime examples of that.
And I really love these photos.
They do show something of the children’s personalities and, to me at least, they’re nice photos of them. The light is lovely, and the pictures would look great displayed on our walls at home.
But would they trigger memories for the children when they’re older?
I’m not so sure.
When I look at old photos from my life, it’s the details that bring the memories flooding back.
The classic portraits might be lovely, but I think for me the real beauty in photos lies in the details. In the mess, the clutter, the house, the stuff, the life.
Yet so often we hide it all, we photoshop out the ugly parts, when really, when we look back those are the bits we’ll want to see.
Those details are what we’re nostalgic for.
The other day I was setting the camera up in the kitchen so I could take some photos of me and Nerys baking together.
I took this photo as I was checking the light and the camera settings.
And I’ll be honest here.
I very nearly deleted it when I first looked at it. But I’m so glad I didn’t. Because, even though it’s far from perfect, this is the kind of photo I will love to look back at when the children are older. I hope it will also trigger some memories for Nerys when she sees it in the future.
There are just so many little things in this photo that perfectly capture life right now.
The red spotty tablecloth on the kitchen table.
The photos, drawings and brightly coloured magnets on the fridge.
Nerys in the lounge, eating a yoghurt, eyes fixed on tv.
The flash of pink from the backpack my sister bought her for Christmas.
In time we’ll move on from all of these things.
We’ll most likely move to a different house. The photos on the fridge will change over time and Nerys will outgrow that backpack. All these little details will be gone.
Except, they won’t. They’ll be here, in this photo, just waiting to be remembered.
These photos taken in our lounge are other prime examples of this.
There’s a small part of me that would love us to be one of those families with the Kallax units in the lounge, with all the clutter and ‘stuff’ hidden away. But that’s just not who we are. It’s also not the sort of home I grew up in.
My parents’ lounge has a huge bookcase covering a whole wall. And it is full, absolutely packed, with books and photos and knick knacks and them. The whole house is full of them, and their story and it is just wonderful to me.
And I suppose that’s the way my house is going. We are just a family that has a lot of ‘stuff’! And while these photos might not be obviously beautiful, they are beautiful to me in their own way. Because they tell a part of our story.
The things in the photos that initially make them seem messy and distracting are the very things we will all be so happy to see in the future.
The Dawson’s Creek box-set on the shelf (I’m not even sorry, it’s a great show!) alongside photos of our niece and the first photo Steve and I ever took together. The other bookshelf packed full of Steve’s local history books. The black and white photo of his grandparents on their wedding day. The toys on the windowsill. The Pokemon book that Rhys is copying from.
It’s all there. Our life.
I won’t stop taking, or sharing, the nice, clean photos of my children.
I won’t stop ‘liking’ and ever-so-slightly swooning over other people’s photos in their gorgeous, spacious, bright white homes. There is definitely a place for those kinds of photos, and for a lot of people that may well be what their life actually looks like.
My life though, is messy and busy and full of stuff. So I will keep taking the photos that show that too. I might not share them as much on my blog, but I will be sharing more of them on my photography site. And I will print them and put them in albums for us all to enjoy in years to come.
Like most things in life, it’s all about balance isn’t it.
We take the pretty photos that capture what our children look like, for us and for now, to share with the world and to display in our homes.
And we take the cluttered, real photos for our children. For us as well, in a way, but mainly for them. And for the future, to act as little triggers to bring those memories right back. You know when you see some photos and you can just feel what life was like back then?
That’s what I’m after.
That’s the life that I just can’t bear to edit out of my photos.
Such very good points, and I know exactly what you mean about being able to FEEL life as it was then, when looking at old photos. And I love the pic you snapped when checking the light etc, as you say, it’s got so many details. Thank you for a great read x
#KCACOLS
Thank you, I’m so pleased you enjoyed reading this. And it’s amazing isn’t it, how a photo can bring back such vivid memories from the past. x
This is very insightful. When I think of the photos that I most cherish of my mum and my grandma and me, it’s definitely the little details that bring back the memories, like remembering her old garden when it was bloom, or the crazy fridge magnets she used to keep on the fridge. We used to take photos for ourselves, for scrapbooks only we would see – or maybe another family member or close friend. Now we take photos for other people, to display on public for the whole world to see and it’s very very different. You’ve reminded me it’s very important to have that balance and I’m going to make sure I keep more photos that are not “instagrammable”, because my priority should be creating memories for my family. #KCACOLS
That’s it isn’t it, we don’t just take photos for ourselves and our families any more, we take them a lot of the time to share with the world and so I think we worry so much more about them looking ‘perfect’. It really is all about balance, and making sure we take enough of the real photos as well. x
This post really made me think – I’m totally guilty of editing all the distinguishing features out of my photos to try and hide the clutter, or people in the background or whatever. But those are exactly the things I love about looking at old photographs; the details in the background, or what the random family caught in the corner of the shot are wearing. I think I might be a little less ruthless next time I get some photos printed! #KCACOLS
I’m so happy that this post got you thinking! x
This is so true. Sometimes we’re so focused on the perfection, we forget to see the real life that’s going on under our nose. The photo of Nerys and the yoghurt is lovely! #KCACOLS
Thank you, I really do love the photo the more I look at it! Perfection is all well and good in photos, but I think there is so much more life and so many more memories held in the imperfect pictures! x
Madeline, this is one of the best things I’ve read this week. Really, quite brilliant. I hope a lot of people who are all caught up in the image of perfection will read every word. I’m afraid Shakespeare’s line “All the world’s a stage” is how many people treat life. Pinning and tweeting.
Thank you so much, I’m so pleased you enjoyed reading this. It’s something I feel so strongly about with my own photos, and I think you’re right with that quote. x
I love this post so much. As a mummy of three we have a lot of stuff – it is hard to get a picture in the house without ‘mess or clutter’ in the background and I am so critical – regardless if the picture is a great capture I cant help but notice the background. I am going to try and remember this post, I don’t want to erase any memories. #kcacols
When I share photos in social media I do choose the ones that are presentable just coz I don’t want to show anything too much for privacy. However most of the time I just take pictures to capture special moments that I want to be able to cherish and don’t really think about whether it looks good or perfect. #kcacols
Sounds like you’ve got the balance just right, taking both kinds of photos depending on whether you want to share them publicly or keep them just for your family. x
I’m exactly the same and this is exactly why my instagram isn’t as ‘busy’ as it easily could be! Because I don’t want to be editting/blotting out personal details of our daughter’s from the background. I want to enjoy the ‘frame’ in years to come! Our life is certainly ont insta-ready! #kcacols
I found this read quite fascinating as I’m quite the opposite. I would describe myself as a live in the moment kind of mother and actually forget to take pictures in order to capture the memories created. This is something I’ve regretted, especially in the newborn days of little Eco. I think the key thing is balance, something I will do with bump who is due in June please god. Thank you for sharing x #KCACOLS
It really is all about balance isn’t it. I think really ‘being’ in the moment and enjoying and experiencing it is wonderful, but it can be hard then to look back and realise you didn’t capture it at all. I hope you get the newborn photos you want this time around, and try and get some bump photos in the next few months too! x
I love this post! When I first started blogging, I was so into getting the ‘right’ shot only to learn over the years that natural photos are always the best. Catching the moment, remembering the memories. I always take a few ‘posed’ shots but always have double the amount of natural action shots in between. #KCACOLS
Thank you so much! Those natural, in-between shots are so often the best ones aren’t they! x
Brilliant post and, yes, I am guilty of trying to hide the mess and keep certain parts of the house out of the background of my photos. That said, my photos are far from perfect anyway. I think the ordinary everyday moments captured often make the best photos that we will want to keep looking at in years to come. Ultimately, the rest of the world is not going to care about our photos from ten years ago,but they will be really important to us. #kcacols
It’s so true…when I look back on my childhood photos, it’s the details in the background I remember. The old couch, the fishing game, the awful teddy with one eye! Like you say, there is a place for all types of memories, thank you for reminding me! #KCACOLS
It is all about balance isn’t it, getting those ‘perfect’ photos that we want but remembering to take the perfectly imperfect ones too! x
Oh I love this post! I could have easily written it myself! My house is full of clutter and I am always conscious of that when taking photos indoors but you are right. In years’ to come my boy’s will want to see all the clutter and toys to bring back memories of that time for them! #KCACOLS