And on the Sunday Rhys and I went and explored all the ground displays as well. One of the attractions was a bouncy-castle-style assault course, put on by the army recruitment team.
Rhys asked to have a go as soon as he saw it. I explained that he would have to go on without me and that it wasn’t the same as the bouncy castles he’s been on at birthday parties and he decided he still wanted to give it a try.
Well, he loved it. He raced through the course, bounced off the end and asked straight away to have another go. So off we went to join the queue again. This time round though he had a bit of trouble. He got stuck on one of the obstacles. I was the other side of the barrier and couldn’t reach him to help. There were no staff members nearby to give him a hand. So a young woman who was doing the course grabbed him and helped him over the top of the obstacle and safely down the other side.
I made a note to thank her if I could catch her once they were off.
After Rhys had made it off the course we were busy getting his shoes back on, when the woman appeared next to me and said:
“He was having a bit of trouble so I helped him. I hope that’s ok”
I HOPE THAT’S OK.
How sad that we live in a society where she felt she had to check that it was ok that she had helped my son.
But I can’t shake this uneasy feeling that she must have questioned whether or not she should help him. Whether or not she should put her hands on a small child that was having difficulties. It worries me that there may be situations where children are left helpless, sad, afraid, because adults are too scared that the parents will react badly if they step in and help.
There’s been chat in the news recently about whether or not we should step in and discipline other people’s children. Well that is an entirely different matter. That depends on the exact circumstances that surround a child’s wrong-doing.
But, as far as I’m concerned, a child in difficulty, a child who is lost, a child who is alone and crying always needs our help.
Please, if you see my child needing help and you can’t see me nearby, do step in and help him.
I will always be grateful.
Even if he’s actually fine and doesn’t really need any help. I will always appreciate the fact that you cared enough to approach him.
 |
 |
It’s crazy! I think people are scared of the potential ramifications of touching a child, even if their intentions are honest ones. It’s like this safeguarding law puts children in a bubble that prevents them from being helped in such situations – it’s just mad. As you say, people shouldn’t put safeguarding above helping a child… what’s the most important thing is helping out when in need… you know… ensuring they are safe! 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday
It does just seem to have all gone too far doesn’t it? x
This is so sad and yet so true. I can put myself in that lady’s shoes and even though i would never just leave the child to struggle, it would also probably cross my mind as to the ramifications of touching someone else’s baby.
I can completely understand where she was coming from, which just makes it all the more sad! x
I would absolutely help a child without hesitation that needed help – I think it is easier being in a position to do so being a woman and mum and I have done so before…but it IS sad that we do have that split second of concern about doing so…stranger danger seems to be everywhere particularly in my own head! #twinklytuesday
You’re right, I do think that women (and mums in particular) tend to hesitate less than men before stepping in, but I think we all have that moment of doubt now which is so sad. x
I think most mums would help as they understand that if it were their child they would want someone to step in. Perhaps those without children would be wary, and really I can’t blame them. Unfortunately there are some ridiculous people in this world who would have a problem with someone assisting their child due to some of the terrible things that occur these days. The other day my son got off one of those moving cars that you put money in as he’d had enough. A little girl had been watching so I turned to her and asked if she wanted to hop on and finish the ride. Her mum swooped in, grabbed her hand and said “no Thankyou” before walking off. I was quite shocked. But I guess that’s just how some people are 🙁
It’s sad though isn’t it, that the immediate reaction to you being kind and friendly was to pull the child away! And I agree, I can understand why someone without children of their own might be more wary of stepping in. x
Great post! It is so true, so many parents are afraid to do the wrong thing that they are afraid to help each other out, when the truth is we need each other’s support more than ever! #twinklytuesday
That’s it isn’t it, we really do need all the support we can get from other parents! x
if it were me, I’d help without hesitation but would probably then panic that the mum might not have liked it; but I guess then your point still stands – that I’d be concerned that a family member would mind me helping her child… sad. #wineandboobs
It is sad isn’t it! So much depends on the situation, because I do think that if a child were in serious danger we would all just jump in and help, but even then, would we question our actions afterwards?! x
If I see a child that’s on their own looking lost or crying I’ll always make sure there ok. If it were my child I’d want people to do the same. Emma once had a nasty fall and a mother even came up and asked if I needed help. I loved that. #wineandboobs
That’s how I tend to think – if it were my child what would I want someone else to do? So nice that you’ve had a positive experience with being offered help. x
I would always stop to help a child in need and I’m not sure that I’d question it, but it is sad that others might. I’d hate to live in a world where people stood by when a child needed help xxx #TwinklyTuesday
I really hope it never goes that far! x
Excellent point. I would definitely help a child who was stuck but I would probably feel the same way the girl in your story did. #wineandboobs
It’s a shame isn’t it, that that doubt is creeping in. x
This is such a great post. I have definitely been in the situation that the lovely lady was in. I have always helped, but always felt that slight unease as to whether the parents wanted me to. I’ll never forget the time I found a lost little soul at Legoland. His parents had only just gone round the corner but he managed to lose them and I could see the realisation on his face that he didn’t know where they were. I went over with him so that he wasn’t alone and to find a staff member when suddenly one of them came running back for him. I swear, I do not remember them saying thank you. I may be wrong but I really don’t remember it happening. I will always help a child in need, because like you, I would want someone to help mine if he needed it. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Thanks Lisa. I suppose you have to give the parents the benefit of the doubt, that they were just so relieved to see the child safe and well that they overlooked thanking you?! I’ve always been very grateful when someone has helped either of mine. x
Great post! I’m glad your little boy had help, I would hope mine would too in the same situation. And yes, I understand the hesitation but I would still step in and help if roles were reversed. Isn’t it sad that society has got this way?
It really is sad! Although reading all the comments here has made me feel better,sounds like we would all still help a child in need, even with the risk of potential negativity from the parents. x
Great post. I think any parent would help but I can see why some people have that hesitation because there are those parents that get mad if you look at their child the wrong way. #wineandboobs
Oh yep, I can understand the hesitation, it just makes me sad. x
It’s sad to say I would hesitate I’m afraid, as a man it is hard to not feel like a pariah around kids (I blame the media), and while my instinct is to help my mind says be careful. I choose to look for a parent first rather than risk accusations of any kind, which sadly can and do stick, so easier to not risk it sometimes.
It’s so sad isn’t it, but it really is understandable in today’s society.
Yep it’s gone totally mad in certain countries. We moved out to Malta 9 years ago where it’s still ‘old school’ and a very family centric culture. People take photos at playgrounds, people video away at school events etc. The police state and data/security paranoia hasn’t reached here yet. And people will help a child. Because it’s basic human nature to help a child! I hear you. It’s a sad situation that the young girl hesitated. #wineandboobs
Sounds lovely out in Malta! I take photos of my children at the park and feel so conscious at times, making sure it’s clear I’m not photographing any other kids! x
This is definitely scary. But I feel like I would react like the mum (helping with good intentions but probably hesitating a bit!)…great post. Thanks for linking with #wineandboobs
I think a lot of us would hesitate a bit before helping, I suppose the most important thing is that we would all still help after that hesitation! x
Isn’t it awful that we have to even worry about helping a child. Having worked with kids for 15 years I never hesitate but I know my husband has sometimes. #twinklytuesdays
It just makes me sad, and I do think it’s worse for men now in our society so I can completely understand your husband hesitating. x
Rightly or wrongly I don’t really think twice about helping other peoples children, instinct just kicks in before I’ve even thought about it. I actually blocked a runaway child in with my trolley in Aldi today – all very happy and Mum very grateful. I am sure one day I will get told off. I always hope that somebody would help my children – so I guess I just do the same!
Cat
http://www.breedandwrite.co.uk
Love that story about the incident in Aldi! So good to hear you’ve never had a negative reaction. x