Try this one little trick to help you feel more confident

I remember the first time I took Rhys to baby group.

It had taken me weeks to build up the courage to go, and I felt unbelievably nervous as I made my way there.  Part of the problem for me was the fact that I tend to overthink things.  And then I manage to talk myself out of doing them, because I’ve imagined these worse case scenarios.

It’s the same with all sorts of things, from driving somewhere new to starting up a conversation with someone new at the school gate.

This little trick though can really help me (and you) to feel more confident in pretty much any situation.

Try this one little trick to help you feel more confident

 

The trick is to pay attention to the thoughts we have about the situation and basically tone them down.

What I mean by this is, to take that worse case scenario that we’re picturing and question it.  Bring in a voice of reason to argue with the little voice in your head who is busy catastrophizing.  Tone down those worries as much as you can.

Let’s use that first visit to baby group as an example.

Before I went I built up this idea in my head that I would go and no one would talk to me at all.  That I would trip on my way in and make a fool out of myself before I even had the chance to say hello to anyone.  That I would try and talk to people and be ignored and I’d end up sitting by myself.

What I should have done is question all of these thoughts.

I should have reassured myself that no one would notice if I tripped on the way in, or pushed the door when it should be pulled open.

I should have reminded myself that it was more than likely that most of the other parents there would have felt nervous the first time they went.  And that they would be friendly and more than happy to talk to me.

 

This approach can be applied to all sorts of situations.

At work before giving a presentation for the first time you can take thoughts of “I’m going to completely mess this up and I’ll never get promoted and my boss won’t take me seriously” and tone it down to “I might not be amazing at it, but everyone knows this is the first time I’ve done it and they won’t be expecting everything to be perfect”

 

In an ideal situation we’d just tell ourselves that what we’re thinking isn’t true; we’d ignore those worse-case scenario thoughts and just get on with things.  But I think we all know it’s not that easy.  What is more manageable is working to modify our thoughts, little by little.

Toning down our thoughts from the worst case to scenario to one that is a bit less dramatic and catastrophic can be enough to give us the confidence to go ahead and do what we need to do.

Do you have a tendency to think the worst, or build things up in your head so that they seem much scarier than they are?

If your answer is yes, then try this trick next time you find yourself doing it.  See how much more confident you feel once you challenge that voice and start to tone down your thoughts.

 

 

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
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12 Comments

  1. 16/09/2018 / 9:05 am

    These are great tips! I’ve saved this on Pinterest as I’m sure it will come in handy for a new mum sometime soon! #KCACOLS

  2. 18/09/2018 / 12:58 pm

    This is a great idea. I always make things worse in my head, I spend far too much time worrying about things. I will try and remember this.
    #KCACOLS

  3. 19/09/2018 / 12:54 am

    Great tips – and not just for mummas!

  4. 19/09/2018 / 3:45 pm

    I definitely used to, but now I kind of just go with the flow. You might call it ‘winging it’!! #kcacols

  5. 21/09/2018 / 9:30 am

    There are so many scenarios I’ve avoided because I’ve overplayed them in my head. Our own minds are far more detrimental than situations that arise in our lives! Loved this practical post! Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS and I look forward to reading your next post!

  6. 23/09/2018 / 10:42 am

    That’s some great advice. It’s easy to always think of the worst case scenario but as you say just tone it down. #KCACOLS

    • This glorious life
      Author
      23/09/2018 / 2:02 pm

      Thank you, it’s something I’m trying to do myself because I know how easy it is for me to go to the worse case scenario! x

  7. 23/09/2018 / 3:22 pm

    Thanks for this great advice. I am totally a worse-case scenario girl!

    #kcacols

  8. 24/09/2018 / 1:51 pm

    This is exactly what I do! I’m going through it at the moment with our new(ish) baby. I want to take our 3 year old somewhere new but I keep thinking through all the possible disasters and what ifs and it puts me off. I end up going to the same places we’ve always gone too, and making sure there’ll be people I know there, just in case! Thanks for the tips – it’s something I can definitely work on. #kcacols

  9. 26/09/2018 / 5:29 pm

    Love this post. My daughter is terrible for this, she will say I am not going to pass the spelling test. I am like you will you will be positive. #kcacols

  10. 27/09/2018 / 5:16 pm

    Oh I loved reading this post. I am awful at over thinking things. My mind always overthinks the negatives. Main reason why I never go to places that are full or too busy. But I am trying to push myself and be more kind to myself now!

    Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS this week. Hope to see you again next week.

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