Everything changes (a letter to my son at he starts full days at school)

Dear Rhys,

I wished on a shooting star for you, did you know that?

I was lying on a beach one night in the summer of 2010, longing for the clouds to shift enough for the perseid meteor shower to do it’s thing.  Then it happened; a brilliant flash of light darted across the sky.  And I wished.  With all my heart I wished.  For you.  For you to come to us, to change our world.

And nine months later there you were.  And right from the start you changed everything.  You changed me.  I found a strength and determination I didn’t know I had to get you safely into the world.  You made me raw and vulnerable in a way that only a new parent can be.

You’ve kept me on my toes your whole life.  Just when we thought we had things figured out a new change would come along.

Because that’s life, isn’t it.  Life is change.

And right now, there’s a big change happening.  You’re starting full-time school.

You seem ready.  You had a great time in the nursery class last year, and you’re familiar with the idea of school.

So, I think this change is more dramatic for me.  Our life together has changed, and it can never go back.  Daddy and I are taking a deep breath and slowly taking another tiny step back.

There’s a part of me that longs to keep you close.  To hold on tight to my little boy who, not long ago, I wished on a star for.  I want to keep you just as you are,  but I know that’s just now how life works.  You have to grow, you have to change, that’s just the way it is.

So here’s what I’ll do; I’ll hold on extra tight when you hold my hand as we walk.  I will cherish every last kiss you ask for outside school.  Too soon I know you’ll be ‘too old’ for these things.

It really does make me so proud, seeing the boy you’re growing in to.  How loving you are. How passionate.  I just don’t want the outside world to change you.  I want you to stay strong in who you are.

Everything changes.  That’s just life.  Just don’t let life change you too much ok?  You are wonderful, just as you are.

I love you,
Mummy.
x

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Mummascribbles
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