Having the ability to learn from a set-back and come back stronger is an admirable quality. As much as we try to protect our children from any upset, experiencing failure and adversity is a part of the human experience, and trying to shelter your children from this altogether is somewhat futile.
You can however teach them the skills to help them bounce-back from a blow, and show them how to take future challenges in their stride. An independent school in Hertfordshire has shared some advice for parents looking to boost their child’s resilience, keep reading to find out more.
Allow them to fail
If you rig every game of back-garden football so that your child comes out victorious, or turn a blind eye to the board game cheating that allows them to remain the undefeated monopoly champion, your child is going to get a real shock when they experience any kind of failure.
This isn’t to say that you should never let your child win at anything, constant failure is likely to knock their confidence, so it’s important to find a balance.
Experiencing occasional losses teaches perseverance and coping skills, meaning they’ll eventually learn to brush off minor setbacks without losing their cool.
Talk about emotions
Learning to manage emotions is a major part of resilience. Big feelings can be quite overwhelming for children, and they may think of anger or sadness as being a bad thing. It’s important to talk about the fact that all emotions are normal, and everyone experiences them.
Help your child manage their emotions by encouraging them to talk about how they’re feeling, or even write it down privately. This allows them to process and reflect on their emotions, making the problem feel more manageable.
Once your child learns to accept their full range of emotions, the more readily they’ll be able to move on from them.
Model optimism
To keep going when things are tough requires the ability to trust that things can and will get better.
Helping your child find the silver lining in adverse situations promotes an optimistic mindset, teaching them that there’s always hope even when things aren’t going to plan. Try to demonstrate optimism in action by not dwelling too long on your own personal set-backs, and try to re-frame situations in a more positive way.
An optimistic outlook goes hand in hand with resilience and will give your child the motivation to persevere through life’s challenges.
Disclosure: this is a collaborative post