Planning a wedding for love

Are you planning your wedding for love or a show?

First things first, before anyone starts feeling defensive, I’m not actually suggesting that your marriage is ‘a show’ by any definition of the word.

But in the planning of a wedding, it can be easy to fall into this kind of worrisome feeling. You might realise after a long planning process that actually, most of the decisions you’ve made have been to compromise for something. Perhaps you want it to be so all of your family can attend, or you are opting for something too traditional despite your tastes because you simply want to please your parents.

This is what I mean by a ‘show’; you might be making all the ‘right’ choices, but none of those you and your partner actually want.

Are you planning your wedding for love or a show


But for what other purpose are you supposed to plan a wedding? This is quite a vastly ceremonial day after all, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be that simple. With this guide, you might be able to craft an event, but also ensure that it’s a celebration of hearts, not simply something chosen out of compulsion.


There’s no need to go massive

A wedding can be an all-day event, with hundreds of family members in attendance, a long convoy of cars from place to place, a fantastic church or cathedral as the main space, enough food to feed a small army and perhaps the booking of a range of entertainers. But there’s no need to go this massive for your wedding to be worthwhile.

What do you actually want? Have you asked that of yourself and your partner, or are you simply opting for those suggested to your by your wedding planners? Might it be that keeping the wedding a little more tight, a little more humble and a little more engaging could help you enjoy it more?

There’s only so much you can do and only so many people you can meet at your wedding, and sometimes keeping it comfortable can help you feel more like yourself. For example, while the Royal wedding that took place last year was wonderful to watch and beautiful from every angle, it likely felt as more of a show and less of a personable, comfortable event for both bride and groom. Of course, if you enjoy spectacle and size that’s absolutely fine. But be sure it’s something you want, and do not fall into it out of obligation.



It can be hard to come to hard and fast decisions that both you and your partner agree on. From excellent bands you might pick to the catering you might choose, it can be hard to define decisions. This is where exercising your ability to make compromises and to level the playing field can help you both come to an arrangement you are happy with, as not all couples share the same tastes. This means you needn’t simply ‘accept’ a decision out of your control. This will give you the tools to enjoy a wedding much more.


Give Yourself Time

Don’t feel as if you have to rush from one place to the next during your wedding.  Speak to people, smell the flower arrangements, savour your food and dance with your partner.  Give yourself time to enjoy all of these things. If you want to walk the grounds, you can. Give yourself to the experience.


With these simple titbits of advice, your wedding is sure to be one of the best days of your life.

Disclosure: this is a collaborative post

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