The breakdown of a relationship can be one of the most stressful life events someone can go through. Even if you know it’s the best thing for everyone involved it’s still incredibly hard.
There are so many different emotions involved with divorce and separation; from anger and confusion, to sadness and fear for the future. And when there are children involved it all gets that bit harder again.
When you’re trying to work out how to move forwards, how to split all your possessions and how to manage custody arrangements it can be really hard to keep a clear head. This is where mediation comes in.
Mediation is where a professionally trained mediator works with both sides to help them work out arrangements for their children and for their finances, without the need for the couple to go through the courts.
Keeping the separation out of the courts means that the couple can take their time and come to a decision that they can both agree on. Otherwise a judge can end up making these decisions for them, which can lead to even more negative emotions and bad feelings as the relationship comes to an end.
With mediation the outcome is often a lot more amicable, which is so important when there are children involved.
Using a mediation service can also help resolve disputes more quickly, especially at the moment with the family courts being delayed due to the pandemic. The service is already generally cheaper than going through the family courts, and at the moment couples can apply for £500 of aid from the government towards the costs.
If you’re still not sure if mediation is the best option as you go through divorce and separation, then here are some of the main benefits:
- it helps protect your children’s well-being, as the whole process is less stressful for everyone involved
- you remain in control, with the mediator’s help you can reach an agreement that both parties are satisfied with
- in most cases mediation leads to a solution more quickly than if the couple go to court
- it can set a good foundation for maintaining a positive relationship for the future. Mediation encourages open communication, which is really important for a positive co-parenting relationship.
Whatever the circumstances are for a couple breaking up, when there are children involved the most important thing is to keep things as civil and friendly as possible.
You need to find a way to move forward, to start to build new lives apart while still being involved in these new lives as you find a way to co-parent your children.
Mediation can be a great tool to help you get there.
Working through all your disputes with a trained professional can help you both leave the relationship on your own terms, without the need for a judge intervening and making decisions for you. If you want to though you can take your agreement to a court and ask them to look it over and make it into a legally binding and enforceable court order.
This way you can both feel protected and in control as you move forward with your new lives.
Disclosure: this is a collaborative post