This is kind of stating the obvious, but I love my children.
I love them with every part of me.
But there are times when I wonder if they are aware of quite how loved they are. They hear the words a lot, from both me and their Daddy. But sometimes I think hearing the words isn’t quite enough. I think they need more than that.
So I’ve come up with 5 things I can do every day to make sure they know I love them.
1. Say it.
Say “I love you” as much as you can. This is a nice easy place to start if you’re anything like me. We say “I love you” several times a day. And when it comes unexpectedly you can just see their faces light up.
If you spend a fair bit of your day away from your child then think about leaving them a note in their lunchbox, or hidden in their bag, telling them you love them.
2. Hug it out.
Give them a hug. And let them be the first to let go.
Generally just let them be physically close to you.
I know there are times when that much physical contact can just get too much. I know I’ve had days when I’ve felt really touched out by bedtime. But as much as you can, let them be close to you.
Cwtch up close on the sofa when you read or watch tv together. Hold their hands as you walk. Any time they reach out to you for contact, give them what they need.
3. Ask them about their day.
On the way home from school, or nursery, or as you get them ready for bed, ask them about their day. And really listen to their answer. Ask follow on questions, and echo back key points they make so they really feel that you understand.
If you don’t get much from them when you ask “how was your day?”, then try asking about their favourite thing that happened that day.
4. Let them overhear you saying good things about them.
Talk to your partner about something good your child has done that day, but make sure you do it so that they can overhear you. Don’t make it obvious you’re doing it so they can hear you, let them think that you don’t know they’re listening.
Hearing you happily telling someone else about how great you think they are is a fab way to boost their self-esteem as well as letting them know how much you love them.
5. Be visibly happy to see them.
There’s a photo that’s been doing the round recently. A nursery in Houston put a sign up on its door telling parents to get off their phones when they picked their children up. I don’t like the way the note was worded, but I do agree with the sentiment.
Of course there are times when we might have to take an important phone call just as the school doors open. Or we might have a baby with us who need our attention at that moment. But I do think it’s really important to make an effort to stop what we’re doing and greet our children with a big smile and a hug when they come out of school.
They need to know that we’re happy to see them! The same goes for other situations too. Look up from what you’re doing when they come in the room, and flash them a smile. And when you first see them in the morning, try and move past the brain fog and grumpiness and say good morning to them with a happy voice.
So there you go, 5 things we can all try and do every day to show our children how much we love them.
If you want to go a bit further with this then you can read this post I wrote a while ago about love languages. Once you’ve worked out what love language your child speaks then you can find even more little ways to show love in the way that they need you to.
Do you do any/all of these things with your children regularly? Are there any other little things you do with your children to show your love?
This post has been linked up with KCACOLS.
Really enjoyed reading this, I haven’t seen the sign on the nursery about mobile phones but think it’s such a good point!!
It’s been doing the rounds on Facebook. I don’t like the way it’s written, but do agree with the message they’re trying to send. x
I need to work on that last one. They see a whole lot of frazzled mommy.
#KCACOLS
I love love love this. Life can be so busy that we forget the simple things, if you love your family tell them, show them, make it clear! #kcacols
Thank you! These little things really do add up I think. x
aw lovely list and I actually fell like im doing ok as I do most of these things! yay! I hope my son will know when he is older how much he is loved because it was a difficult personal decision to have him. he doesn’t know now as he is only 3 but when he’s an adult he will understand #KCACOLS
I’m sure he knows, they really do pick up on these little things that we can say and do every day to show how loved they are. x
people really pick their kids up from school and are on their phone rather than looking at them and greeting them with a smile and hello?? wow I cant believe that (obviously important phone call is different) Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS we hope to see you next time xx
It’s sad isn’t it, but it must be an issue in some places if they feel the need to put up a sign about it! x
I hug my kids all the time and I am always telling them that I love them. There is nothing better than sharing the love with them.
#KCACOLS
I try to do all the above and luckily most come naturally and easy, however the last one I need to work on… a lot! x
#KCACOLS
Haha, the last one is definitely one that’s a work in progress for me too. x
I like the one about letting them overhear good things – I will do that! #thelistlinky
I love doing that one, and taking a sneaky glance at my children and seeing how happy they are that I’m saying good things about them! x
I read an article a while ago that also recommended being the last one to let go of the hug and that has been HUGE with my kids! Amazing what a difference it makes. We tell them all the time because I believe hearing it goes a long way! I also play little games (especially with my 8 year old) where I tap him 3 times every now and then, a gentle tap on his hand or knee. And he’ll ask why i tapped him and i tell him 3 times means I Love You! Kids rock!
GAH! It must be bed time. You are like the 4th person i’ve forgotten to add the #KCACOLS tag for! Thanks for sharing there!
Oh that’s so lovely, the three little taps thing. And the thing about being the last to let go is huge, I’m sure my children feel better for it. x
I think listening to them is so important. My daughters only 2 and I still can’t understand a lot of what she says! But I try my best to listen to her when she has something to tell me, even if I’m busy! #KCACOLS
It’s hard when they’re little isn’t it, and sometimes you can see them getting frustrated when you can’t understand them, but you have to keep trying and trying to work out what they’re saying because it is so important to them! x
My other half always moans that I don’t say I love you enough but I try to explain it’s the other things I say that prove I love you…actually saying I love you is sometimes too easy. ‘Take Care’ ‘Drive Carefully’ ‘Have a good day at work’ ‘How was your day?’ All mean I love you! #KCACOLS
This was lush to read because it reminded me of all those little moments throughout our days. Just today my daughter was telling me how much she loves me, it was while I was waiting outside her public bathroom cubicle but I take these moments wherever I can get them! I always try to be the last to let go in a hug, I’d love my kids to never notice that but have the secure feeling from it. #KCACOLS
Great list. I really like the idea of saying something positive about them in their earshot. This always makes me feel good when I overhear someone saying something nice about me. Thanks for this post. #KCACOLS
I do pretty much all of these. I also do silly things like “oh what’s that on your face/tummy” then lean in and give it a kiss or blow a raspberry. If I’m making him giggle I feel like he’s feeling loved.
#KCACOLS
Oh that’s another great one, making them giggle is a great way to show them love! x
Back again – this is especially relevant for me now we have a new baby and the other two have to ‘share’ me #KCACOLS
I do like this post and sometimes we all just need little prompts to remind us that our actions speak just as loud as words sometimes
Being close to them is an important one, and as my girl is a little bit older the cuddles are getting less but I always make sure she has a cuddle on the way to school and she’s the one to push back first…it’s a little joke we have between us and it’s just between us, which is great.
I also put little notes & drawings in their lunchboxes, too, which does goes down well.
All really good points made!
#TheList
It’s so lovely having a little thing that’s just between the 2 of you. And I love that you put little notes in their lunchboxes! x
I’m quite glad that I actually do all of these! Although I do like the “what was your favourite part of the day” because I really struggle to get any information out of my 6 year old about school lol. I’ll be trying this later! #KCACOLS Becky x
It can be really hard to get anything out of them about school can’t it! This question can help get a little bit of information from them! x
Love this, I make sure that my children know I love them even if I have had to tell them off. #KCACOLS
Yes its good to let the little ones or big ones know how much you love them. I tell my boys all the time and try very hard to show it in as many ways as possible.
Mainy
#KCACOLS
I think it is in all the little things we do isn’t it, it all adds up to them feeling so loved. x
We try not to be too negative around the kids, I think it really effects them. #kcacols
Great post, my little one is a little young to appreciate some of these but I still tend to do them. I constantly telling him how much of a good boy he is, it usually after I’ve told him don’t to throw things at the TV or lick the wall but it still counts!! #KCACOLS
Aww I love this..all really simple ways we can show our kids we love them. I’ve been so tired and distracted lately so I’m really going to try and do all these more often. Xx #kcacols